I was recently tagged in a photo uploaded on Facebook to Witches Brew page, of a Mahogany card, by Hallmark, for Father’s Day. I know some of you are saying “ok”, “and”! Well the card was for Fathers Day but as you can see in the picture it was addressed to Mothers on Father’s Day! SMH!
Last year right before Mother’s Day I made a post to the women in my feed about how, on Mother’s Day, no matter how trifling and fucked up some peoples mothers were when they were growing up, or if they were absentee, you never, ever, ever see men spewing hate about their mother on or before that day. You never ever see men trying to lay claim to being their child/children’s mother too! Never Ever!
So my appeal was to have women think twice before they claim that they had to play father too to their kids, just because the father was a deadbeat and wasn’t around. It makes no sense at all! It doesn’t matter if someone else post it and you like it, stop it, You Are Not The Father! And feeling any kind of way that gives you the notion that you played the role of the father too is borderline psychotic. And if your child post it, correct them right away, it’s obvious that they’ve been raised to believe a lie!
You’re confusing taking them to play sports or going outside and playing sports with your child as being a “father figure” or as something that’s strictly thought of a s father’s duty. My wife takes my kids to activities all the time, and has occasionally shot a couple hoops with my son’s, but was she doing my duties, she wasn’t doing some holy fatherly thing that only fathers are allowed to do, she was bonding with her children as any mother should.
Get mad if you want to, call me whatever but stop laying claim to something that you have no capacity to be. I feel you, you had a tough time trying to raise them and keep things together, I commend you for that. My mother did the same, and I love here to death for trying to keep me level headed enough to not venture out and be part of the problem! She did a hell of a job raising 6 kids virtually on her own with no help at all from my father, and a little help from my siblings father.
But at no time ever did she lay claim to being my father too. She had enough wisdom to know that she wasn’t a father and enough dignity to not think she deserved that accolade, she was and still is all woman! A woman that was strong enough to hold shit down without a man, but never felt like she was a man.
A lot of y’all have it twisted, you’re letting these feminist movements and propaganda create an alternate understanding of feminism that seems to want to see women shown in a more masculine light, and Sisters, you are ground zero for the re-education.
Just take a look at how Black women are being portrayed in the media now; you’re wild, uncouth loud mouthed women who will beat each other into the dirt, just like men, a bunch of Sharkeisha’s. Reality shows have fucked up what a real woman (Black) is supposed to be by elevating the worst of the pack to the top of the pecking order, i.e. Nene Leaks! And no I’m not one of those every Black woman is a Queen kinda dudes, because that’s false propaganda too! Some of you are exactly who you’re supposed to be, just regular people, everyone can’t be Queens, and for damn sure, not one of y’all can be Kings, period! These chicks on the internet calling themselves King this to King that, or calling Beyonce, King Bey are a part of the problem. Stop that shit now and be a part of the solution!
At the end of the day, there is no way a woman can take the place of a man and be a father to their children, the only thing you can do is find a way to get them in front of a man that’s a good father who can teach them what a father is, and that’s it! And the real sad part about this, is that it’s only prevalent in our culture, amongst Black women, go figure!
While I do not call myself to be the father of my children; I do understand what women, who do call themselves father’s are coming from. The hardest role in life is to be a woman with children and no husband. To be a one parent woman is to be a woman wearing two pairs of shoes; the woman’s shoes, and the man’s shoes.
In one parent homes the woman is, both, the authority figure (the man) and the weaker vessel (the woman); which means the woman plays two roles: And because of the behavior of today’s children; she spends most of her time playing the masculine role.
In one parent homes the mother cannot afford to just play the female role otherwise the children would see her as being soft and take advantage of that softness. But when the husband is in the home, the woman can afford to be soft, because her back-up is right there.
So show some compassion; for these mother’s do not mean that they fathered their children; only that they have on the father’s shoes; which are not easy to wear. Maybe one day we will remember how it was before the civil rights movement of the 60’s, when men were father’s and not just daddy; there is a difference in the two.